Go Ahead and Worry (part 3)
"When a Christian displays unbelief...or an inability to cope with life, he is saying to the world, "My God cannot be trusted," and that kind of disrespect makes one guilty of...the heinous sin of dishonoring God. [emphasis mine] That is no small sin." (John MacArthur)
Those are strong words. Did someone mention this to Jesus?
I have never known as single person in my life who told me that their soul "was consumed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mark 14). Nor have I met anyone who physically manifested an inward struggle by suffering from hematidrosis - sweating blood (Luke 22). Jesus certainly wasn't the poster boy of someone who was handling his situation well and was being "kept in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee" (Isaiah 26). Nor was he someone who demonstrated that he had the "peace of God guarding [his] heart and mind" (Philippians 4). Jesus makes our reactions to the difficulties of life look respectable in comparison.
Is it possible that in his reaction we find what it means to truly be human...human in the sense of something true and good about ourselves? What if our negative emotions--dare I say lament--are our deep soul agreement with our Creator that things are not how they were meant to be?
Perhaps not being okay in our soul with the brokenness of this world and acknowledging that inward disagreement openly before an unbelieving world is actually honoring to our Father and displays His heart for the Restoration of all things. What if...it is okay to not be okay?
For me, I cannot say "all is well with my soul." All is not well and will not be well until our Messiah returns and we experience Restoration. As long as cancer exists, children go missing, injustice prevails, and death affects us all - I will continue to have a soul that is restless, a heart that is troubled, and a mind that worries. And like my Rabbi, I will not be ashamed to let others know about my inward struggles nor expect myself to not physically experience or express the effects of a troubled heart. And also like my Rabbi, I will continue to take my anxious thoughts to my Father Who also laments the brokenness of a sin-engulfed world. Like Jesus, I will be a troubled yet trusting soul.
And unlike the shame-based message we often hear, I encourage each of us to listen to our Father's calming and encouraging words to "take heart" for He has "overcome the world" (John 16).
All we have to do it wait.
Until then, I will walk with you, cry with you, laugh with you, and wait with you as a fellow wounded-healer.